I wish everyone was as weird as me; they'd be happier!

My 16-year-old daughter, Rylee, came home today and said something that struck me.  

"Our teacher asked us to raise our hands if our parents loved their jobs. Not just loved the job, but verbalized how much they loved it. I raised my hand... I was the only one. I think you're weird, mom. I've grown up in a household where my dad is disabled and aches to work, and my mom truly, deeply loves what she does. I just assumed that was the norm. Apparently, it's not, and you are weird."

I couldn't help but laugh! If that's weird, I'm okay with it. If never feeling like you "work" is weird, I'm okay with it. Why on Earth would I have $25K in student loan debt and have worked a full-time job while attending  full-time college to have a job where I am unhappy? Why would I do something I don't love? There are far too many opportunities in America to choose a career you loathe. Let me tell you about my journey to becoming a blissfully satisfied teacher.

After I was discharged from the USMC, I was a stay-at-home  mom for about seven years. Joe worked in IT, and I was blessed to be home with our three beautiful daughters.  Things were going alright; we had enough money, and we were happy. 

Joe has always had some back issues, but they were getting worse. In 2005, when our youngest was only two, Joe had his first back surgery.  It did not go well. He ended up not being able to go back to work. I realized I had to pull the weight financially. He had supported us for years; now it was my turn.

Rylee

                                                     

Chloe

                                                            

  Ansley

I applied for a position at Home Depot because they were hiring cashiers. I had never had a job as anything other than a kitchen worker at a summer camp, and a field radio operator in the Marine Corps.  My interview went something like this...

Manager: I see you're a veteran. Thank you for your service.

Me: It was a privilege. I truly enjoyed my time in the Corps.

         Manager: We love the work ethic of our service members.  I have 

              an opening in kitchen and bath design. I think you'd do well there.

Me: I know nothing about designing kitchens or bathrooms. 

                                 Manager: Welcome aboard! Come with me.(We walk down to the HR office.)

               Manager: Kathy, meet Julie, our new kitchen designer. She's a Marine.

Ummm....okay.

I started out $3 an hour above the cashier position I applied for. I learned quickly and found I was quite gifted in the design department. In my first year, I was the top seller in the NY/NJ Metro region.  I worked 40 hour weeks while taking 12-18 credit hours in college. When I needed to change my hours for my classes, they said they couldn't spare me. I quit, and Lowe's was happy to take me on as a part time designer to accommodate my college schedule. 

I never wanted my girls to think I was unhappy. If I wasn't at work, I was in class. If I wasn't in class, I was studying. If I wasn't studying, I was sleeping. I was struggling, but I didn't want the girls to worry about me while they were worrying about their daddy's health. Designing kitchens may not have been something I thought I'd enjoy, but once I began to bring customer's dreams to life, I really did begin to enjoy it. 

 It took me 5 total years to obtain my B.S. in English Education. I had to take a couple of semesters off  for Joe's surgeries. I was one of those ignorant folks who thought teachers got summers off. I didn't realize we were only paid for 10 months and might have to supplement our incomes with 2nd jobs, tutoring, and coaching. Silly me.

My daughter isn't wrong. I do really love teaching. I do talk about it and how much I love what I do  all the time. It might be annoying to some, but I'm sure my students appreciate my love for this career. Look at them enjoying the effort put into creating their activities. They are engaged!

Searching coordinates to crack a code in an escape game

What happened to Edgar Allan Poe?

What's the mindset? Growth or Fixed?

The point is this. If you don't love what you do, maybe you should do something else. We all have to pay the bills, but we don't have to be miserable doing it. Find the good in what you do, and don't let the bad get to you. Go ahead, be weird.  I'm weird. I love my job to the point of verbal expression.

 I hope you're lucky enough to be weird too.

Back to School

It has been a crazy few weeks, and I have gotten behind on my blog. I apologize. This one won't be too long as I am busy working on this week's lessons. It is so hard to get back in the swing of things during that first week. Even though I spent the summer planning lessons, working on my classroom, attending and giving PD workshops, I still was not prepared for that first week kind of tired. 

   

It's funny how the lesson plans pan out in your mind as you put it all together. You can see the activities happening. You have your imaginary students playing your first personally created original escape game. It works beautifully in your mind. Then, you try it with real live students... well, time to tweak it :)

My new crew of 8th graders are the best! I have many younger siblings of former students. They seem, as a whole, mostly respectful and diligent. Even if they don't understand something, they don't give up! I love their enthusiasm. I haven't had a class like this since the current juniors.

 

We are getting ready to start week three in our school year. I cannot wait to update you on all of the fun projects we complete this year! If my donor's choose project gets funded, I'll be posting some amazing things we will be able to do with our passion projects! Stay tuned!

I've joined the #clearthelists movement and have posted mine. It includes dividers for the tables for testing.  If you'd like to support my classroom, I have a list on amazon as well as my Donor's Choose project. 

Puppies, PD, and Putting it All Together

Hello, Teacher Friends!

We're teachers. We LOVE summer vacation, right?! This is our time to relax. We are only employed for 10 months and we squeeze the work of 12 into that 10, so we can have a sweet break with our families. There are many wonderful options to choose how to spend those 8 glorious weeks. Sometimes, my family goes to the beach. Sometimes, we visit family across the country. 

Sometimes, like this summer, we have Siberian Husky puppies to care for! 

    

 Then, sometimes, we completely ignore vacationing because we are so focused on "next year" that we can think of nothing else. That too was me this summer (this caused my husband to start a rather entertaining blog... https://thesinglelifeofateacherhusband.blogspot.com/ ).

I decided early on that I had some great ideas I wanted to share with my colleagues, but haven't the time during the school year. I attended 2 PD sessions, and taught 4. What fun it was to share the great things that happened in the classroom with my peers. Better yet, I brought in students to present their passion projects to one of the sessions! It was a beautiful thing.

Student Passion Projects above.

Teachers attending PD sessions below.
Yes, it was as fun as it looks!

Why stop there! I've already spent 5 of the 8 weeks dealing with new pups, and planning, prepping, and giving professional development sessions.Why not get cracking on my classroom? 

I had decided at the end of last school year that desks were simply not cutting it in my classroom. I grouped so often that I had to slide desks around and put them together to make a make-shift table to work on, but there would be an awkward angle, and pencils and papers would slip through cracks. I knew we had more students coming in than were leaving and we would need more desks for the school. I put in a request to our maintenance department to build me four large tables. I gave them the measurements and our AMAZING craftsman got to work. These beauties were delivered around the second week of July.  Ignore how trashed my room was.

It was AWESOME that I now had these huge, roomy tables, but I needed chairs, so I put in a request for these really supportive sleek looking chairs. To my total surprise, they were ordered for me! I was ecstatic... until they arrived. Have you ever assembled 25 chairs? It's tedious and back aching work.

 After I assembled all the chairs, my seven donorschoose.org bookshelves arrived! I was thrilled to get my books off the floor and back into a comfy cubby home. Guess what.... yep, more assembly. Seventeen total hours spent assembling chairs and bookshelves in my room. 

P.S. Teachers don't get paid for summers. Some elect to get paid less during their 10 month job to stretch their pay through the summer. In NY I had no pay in summer (not an option). In Tn, my district divides the pay so we get paid through twelve months. Those 17 hours would be paid in smiles and appreciation from thankful students in August.

Needless to say, I had a lot of organizing and work to do to get my classroom ready for the new year. I did it though. I am more proud of this room than any other year. Let me tell you why. 

I truly believe that a classroom should be a welcoming environment where students feel safe, loved, comfortable, and encouraged to take risks. I feel that student voice is absolutely imperative to a successful classroom culture. I have a student/parent Instagram page that students follow. I even have many future students following it (not sure why, but they do). I asked in June if they wanted to continue the DC Comic theme, or have a new design. There were many votes, and DC won by a single vote. I decided if it was that close, I was going to keep DC and add some classy new. Here are the results. I cannot wait to meet my new crew and watch the magic happen in this amazing room! 

Building relationships with your students

This will be more vlog than blog. A few former students are helping me with my
summer PD for positive culture and climate. They made videos of what
makes my classroom a comfortable learning environment.
I believe one of the most important jobs a teacher has is creating a safe, positive learning environment for students. There are many ways to do this. The basics are obvious: high expectations, consistency, support, and encouragement. All great teachers thrive to create this sort of an environment, but what if I told you that it can be taken a step further? What if that kid that begins the school year calling you an "F-ing B" cried the last day of school as he hugged you telling you how much he loved you? I'm going to share a few stories with you. These are from the last eight years of teaching...

The reason I share these stories is to show how important it is to build relationships with your students. If you ever find yourself thinking "I'm here to teach, not build relationships" perhaps you should teach online classes or at the college level. Kids need you to care about them. They need to know someone is in their corner and supports them. They need to feel safe with you. You never really know what someone is going through. Be persistent and be a constant in their lives. Think about it, did you really become a teacher JUST to teach the correct use of a comma? I didn't. I became a teacher to make a difference in the lives of those I have the honor and privilege of teaching. What about you?

Graduation

Graduation is one of the biggest milestones in one's life. Since becoming a teacher, graduation has become such a fulfilling event each year. I get to see students whom I taught years ago, students who struggled throughout, but stuck in there, and students whom I tutored for years after they left my 8th grade classroom graduate from high school. I cannot tell you how proud I am each year. My absolute favorite part of graduation night is walking through the throng of graduates, teachers, families, and friends and seeing the pride on each person's face. Everyone in attendance played a role in the life of these graduates that helped them reach this point in their lives. 

I often teach students who say they'll drop out as soon as they're old enough because they hate school. Of course, I try to encourage them to stay in school, but once they enter high school, I have no idea what will happen. I recall getting a phone call from the Dean of Men at the high school when these graduates were freshman. One of the students would not behave and was spending much of his time in ISS. The AP called me and asked if I could come to the high school during my prep to meet with this student. I was confused as to why he wanted me to come, then he said, "He just doesn't care about anything. He hates all of his teachers. He's disrespectful, insubordinate, and quite a discipline issue. I asked him had he ever respected a teacher. He said he only respected the one teacher who cared about him, Mrs. Koster. I'm hoping you can get through to him."

I went to the high school the next morning during my prep. I met with the AP for a few minutes before he left to get the student. He hadn't told the student, we'll call him Joe, I was there. When the doors opened, Joe walked in with his head hanging down and the "tough-guy" swag. He looked up and made eye contact with me. He went from wannabe thug to a little boy in a flash. He ran up to me and hugged me. "Mama K, what are you doing here?!"  When I explained that the Dean had called me because he was concerned about Joe, he hung his head in shame. We talked for about an hour about the way he should be acting in school, and the respect he needed to show to his teachers because they only wanted to help him. 

His mom worked from 3pm-11pm. His dad wasn't in the picture.  He was literally on his own other than while school and sleeping. We called his mother and set up a plan. We decided I would tutor him to help him catch up on his lessons. It was early in the year, and we were optimistic. I kept him after school for tutoring and fed him dinner. Then, he went home to shower and go to bed.  His work was caught up, his grades and behavior were improving. This lasted for about a month before he got tired of it and just wanted to be free. Once his mom allowed him to skip a day or two, the structure was gone and he no longer came for tutoring. I haven't seen or heard from him since.

On the evening of May 17th, I attended graduation. I was so pleased to see so many former students receiving their diplomas. I was saddened and disappointed to see that a few did not. One or two had dropped out, but others had graduated in December and decided not to walk for one reason or another. One of them had already completed boot camp and was serving as a United States Marine. A former student was now a brother in arms! I looked for Joe. he wasn't there. I asked around and was simply told things like, "I don't know, I think he might of dropped out."

The moral of the story is this. Teachers go above and beyond, and we still can't reach them all. Those are the students that stick with us and make us want to try harder to help others. For those who made it, congratulations. I'm so very proud of you. For those who didn't, it's not too late. 

Congratulations Class of 2019! You did it!

     

Summer break

Summer break is a time to which many teachers look forward. A little rest and relaxation after 180 days of working as a counselor, disciplinarian, confidante, teacher, and often a parent to so many children is deserved. We all need that break, but sometimes, almost always for me, I'm ready to go back after a week or so. I miss my students. I worry about them.

During the school year I build relationships with my students as most teachers do.  I'm not only involved in their school lives, but also their home lives. I befriend their parents and build relationships with them as well. I attend their games, dance recitals, plays, or anything to which they invite me. They confide in me. I celebrate their victories with them. I'm there to console when there is a failure. I cry with them when they lose a loved one. They become my kids. About six years ago, some students coined the term "Koster Kids" stating that I was like a parental figure, and they felt like my foster kids. It has stuck. I have Koster kids ranging from ages 12 to 27. Many still keep in touch. I love it. I'm not always known as a mother figure to them, though. Another term coined by students is "Kosterphobia" because sometimes the Marine comes out, and they don't like that!

The last day of school is always hard. We've spent all year becoming a tight knit community, and then one day, it ends. We say goodbye and send them off to high school. My heart hurts every year. I receive many hugs and gifts, and a few tears are always shed, but there are always one or two students to whom I have trouble saying goodbye. They are usually known as the bad kids... my kids. 

Yes, I'm that teacher, the one who is cool with all the "bad" kids. From the first "F-you" to the tears flowing out of their faces as they hug me goodbye on the last day, we travel a road together. What a journey it is. It's easy to see why kids act out if you actually give them a chance to explain and truly listen to them. More often than not, 

• the undisciplined are raising themselves- Dad's in jail, mom works third shift to provide
• the kid who can't stay awake- No dad, mom parties, he's up taking care of his baby siblings
• angry at the world- no one has ever shown him what love looks like

When you take the time to get to know them, you can find out the underlying issue. Only then can it be addressed. Once I know what's going on, I find ways to show that I care. In the beginning, it's difficult for them to believe that some lady at school really cares, but before you know it, a bond is formed. 

When summer arrives, we say goodbye. I am relieved to have a break and get ready for the next year. We have been out of school for a week now and this Monday, I attended a PD. I've already started building lessons and planning for next year, but my mind cannot focus on next year because it is stuck on my students. Is Mike getting enough to eat? Did Jenny make the dance team? Joey's dad was supposed to get out of prison this month. Lord, help him be the father he should be.  I pray for my own children every single day, and I pray for my students right with them. 

It is almost like suffering a loss in a way. It reminds me of being a foster parent. The longest placement we had while fostering was eight months. When she was sent back to reunite with her parents, our hearts hurt. We knew all along that the goal was reunification with her family, but while she was with us, we loved her like our own. When she left, it was hard. As a teacher, we spend every day for ten months with these students. We learn to love them and worry about them. Then, one day in May, they leave.

In high school, I worry they will get lost in the shuffle. Will they find a trusted adult to be their champion? I hope so. Once they leave me, I can continue to pray for them and keep in touch through my student social media, but the influence I had on them decreases greatly. 

Pray for our students. I know many of them have amazing home lives with wonderfully supportive parents. Some of them do not. Teachers fill those voids. Pray for the teachers to be the leaders students need in their lives. Pray they get the rest they need over summer while working 2nd jobs, tutoring, attending PD, and planning a curriculum to begin again this fall with an entirely new class.

"That" Student

He's been on my mind a lot. You know him too. He's "that" student, the one who refuses to pull up his pants, take off his hood, take out his earbuds, be respectful to anyone, and who hates all authority figures... except me. I'm not sure why he likes me, but he does. I tell him to pull up his pants, he does. I pull off his hood, he says nothing. I ask him a question, he responds with "Yes, ma'am." He does his work in my class and gets As, but refuses to do anything for other classes and fails them. Why? What is it about me or my classroom that makes him decide to make good choices in there? Let's rewind to last year, when he was a 7th grader.

I saw him in the office a lot. He had a bad attitude toward all authority, and was sent to ISS (in school suspension) often. I knew that he was going to be one of my kids the following year. My kids are always the "bad" kids. I laugh because I don't see bad in them. I see broken homes, broken lives, and broken hearts. I see kids that aren't screaming for attention, but screaming for love from someone, anyone. I see an opportunity to help a child mend a broken spirit. 

I didn't know his name. Every day that I walked through the office while he sat waiting to see the principal, I would smile at him. The first time, he looked away quickly. It was as though he didn't know how to react. I continued to do that every time. He stopped looking away, and one day, he even smiled... just a little bit before he caught himself and looked down again. At that moment, I knew I had planted a seed. After that, I purposely watched for him in the lunchroom or gym while supervising. I learned his name and always got on him to pull up his pants and take off his hood. He always did it with a smile. 

I thought about him a lot over the summer. I wondered how his 8th grade year would pan out. He already had a "bad boy" reputation which he fully embraced. I didn't teach him until 2nd semester, but I kept up with him throughout that time and stayed on him. He was extremely disrespectful to every teacher he had. I still don't know the reason. Once second semester began and he was in my class, he began doing work. Guess what, this kid is sharp! When he gets in trouble for insubordination in other classes and gets assigned ISS, I pull him to my room during my class period so he doesn't get behind (I do this with all students assigned to ISS). He does well on all of his assignments, and he completes most of them. 

Why? Why is it that I can literally walk up to him and say "Take off your hood," and he immediately takes it off and responds with,  "Yes Ma'am," yet when any other adult in the building says, "Please take your hood off," he loses his mind and says things like, "Shut up" or "I don't have to" or "Whatever"? One teacher brought him to me one morning and said "I'd like to talk to him with you here." She began telling him that she only wanted to be treated with the same respect she gives him, and she is trying to make him follow the rules when she tells him to do something. He had his head down, ignoring her. I interrupted and said, "Yes Ma'am, and stand up and look her in the eyes when she speaks to you." He said "Yes, Ma'am," and he stood up and looked at her. She looked at me and asked him why he couldn't treat her that way. She pointed out that I am far more strict than she (rightly so), and that I often just pull his hood off his head instead of asking nicely. He answered with, "Cuz I like her." 

I am quite present on social media. I often see statements made by teachers that say something to the effect of, "I don't need my students to like me. I'm not there to be their friend, I'm there to teach them." News Flash folks... if they like you, they want to please you. My students are no different than my own children. They know I love them, discipline them, am hard on them, have high expectations for them, and I will most definitely chew them out if they disrespect me or anyone else in my classroom. How do they know this? Every single day we live it. There is never a question of how I feel about my students...all of them: the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty, the loner, the popular, the depressed, the happy, the rich, the poor, especially the unlovable... they need our love the most.

Teachers, love your students. Get to know them, build relationships with them, and watch them grow to heights they never imagined! Be the light they need. Remember why you became a teacher. Was it really because you have an overwhelming passion for comma placement? I doubt it. THE KIDS! They are your reason! Love them! If you love them, they'll let you teach them.