"That" Student

He's been on my mind a lot. You know him too. He's "that" student, the one who refuses to pull up his pants, take off his hood, take out his earbuds, be respectful to anyone, and who hates all authority figures... except me. I'm not sure why he likes me, but he does. I tell him to pull up his pants, he does. I pull off his hood, he says nothing. I ask him a question, he responds with "Yes, ma'am." He does his work in my class and gets As, but refuses to do anything for other classes and fails them. Why? What is it about me or my classroom that makes him decide to make good choices in there? Let's rewind to last year, when he was a 7th grader.

I saw him in the office a lot. He had a bad attitude toward all authority, and was sent to ISS (in school suspension) often. I knew that he was going to be one of my kids the following year. My kids are always the "bad" kids. I laugh because I don't see bad in them. I see broken homes, broken lives, and broken hearts. I see kids that aren't screaming for attention, but screaming for love from someone, anyone. I see an opportunity to help a child mend a broken spirit. 

I didn't know his name. Every day that I walked through the office while he sat waiting to see the principal, I would smile at him. The first time, he looked away quickly. It was as though he didn't know how to react. I continued to do that every time. He stopped looking away, and one day, he even smiled... just a little bit before he caught himself and looked down again. At that moment, I knew I had planted a seed. After that, I purposely watched for him in the lunchroom or gym while supervising. I learned his name and always got on him to pull up his pants and take off his hood. He always did it with a smile. 

I thought about him a lot over the summer. I wondered how his 8th grade year would pan out. He already had a "bad boy" reputation which he fully embraced. I didn't teach him until 2nd semester, but I kept up with him throughout that time and stayed on him. He was extremely disrespectful to every teacher he had. I still don't know the reason. Once second semester began and he was in my class, he began doing work. Guess what, this kid is sharp! When he gets in trouble for insubordination in other classes and gets assigned ISS, I pull him to my room during my class period so he doesn't get behind (I do this with all students assigned to ISS). He does well on all of his assignments, and he completes most of them. 

Why? Why is it that I can literally walk up to him and say "Take off your hood," and he immediately takes it off and responds with,  "Yes Ma'am," yet when any other adult in the building says, "Please take your hood off," he loses his mind and says things like, "Shut up" or "I don't have to" or "Whatever"? One teacher brought him to me one morning and said "I'd like to talk to him with you here." She began telling him that she only wanted to be treated with the same respect she gives him, and she is trying to make him follow the rules when she tells him to do something. He had his head down, ignoring her. I interrupted and said, "Yes Ma'am, and stand up and look her in the eyes when she speaks to you." He said "Yes, Ma'am," and he stood up and looked at her. She looked at me and asked him why he couldn't treat her that way. She pointed out that I am far more strict than she (rightly so), and that I often just pull his hood off his head instead of asking nicely. He answered with, "Cuz I like her." 

I am quite present on social media. I often see statements made by teachers that say something to the effect of, "I don't need my students to like me. I'm not there to be their friend, I'm there to teach them." News Flash folks... if they like you, they want to please you. My students are no different than my own children. They know I love them, discipline them, am hard on them, have high expectations for them, and I will most definitely chew them out if they disrespect me or anyone else in my classroom. How do they know this? Every single day we live it. There is never a question of how I feel about my students...all of them: the good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty, the loner, the popular, the depressed, the happy, the rich, the poor, especially the unlovable... they need our love the most.

Teachers, love your students. Get to know them, build relationships with them, and watch them grow to heights they never imagined! Be the light they need. Remember why you became a teacher. Was it really because you have an overwhelming passion for comma placement? I doubt it. THE KIDS! They are your reason! Love them! If you love them, they'll let you teach them.