Summer break

Summer break is a time to which many teachers look forward. A little rest and relaxation after 180 days of working as a counselor, disciplinarian, confidante, teacher, and often a parent to so many children is deserved. We all need that break, but sometimes, almost always for me, I'm ready to go back after a week or so. I miss my students. I worry about them.

During the school year I build relationships with my students as most teachers do.  I'm not only involved in their school lives, but also their home lives. I befriend their parents and build relationships with them as well. I attend their games, dance recitals, plays, or anything to which they invite me. They confide in me. I celebrate their victories with them. I'm there to console when there is a failure. I cry with them when they lose a loved one. They become my kids. About six years ago, some students coined the term "Koster Kids" stating that I was like a parental figure, and they felt like my foster kids. It has stuck. I have Koster kids ranging from ages 12 to 27. Many still keep in touch. I love it. I'm not always known as a mother figure to them, though. Another term coined by students is "Kosterphobia" because sometimes the Marine comes out, and they don't like that!

The last day of school is always hard. We've spent all year becoming a tight knit community, and then one day, it ends. We say goodbye and send them off to high school. My heart hurts every year. I receive many hugs and gifts, and a few tears are always shed, but there are always one or two students to whom I have trouble saying goodbye. They are usually known as the bad kids... my kids. 

Yes, I'm that teacher, the one who is cool with all the "bad" kids. From the first "F-you" to the tears flowing out of their faces as they hug me goodbye on the last day, we travel a road together. What a journey it is. It's easy to see why kids act out if you actually give them a chance to explain and truly listen to them. More often than not, 

• the undisciplined are raising themselves- Dad's in jail, mom works third shift to provide
• the kid who can't stay awake- No dad, mom parties, he's up taking care of his baby siblings
• angry at the world- no one has ever shown him what love looks like

When you take the time to get to know them, you can find out the underlying issue. Only then can it be addressed. Once I know what's going on, I find ways to show that I care. In the beginning, it's difficult for them to believe that some lady at school really cares, but before you know it, a bond is formed. 

When summer arrives, we say goodbye. I am relieved to have a break and get ready for the next year. We have been out of school for a week now and this Monday, I attended a PD. I've already started building lessons and planning for next year, but my mind cannot focus on next year because it is stuck on my students. Is Mike getting enough to eat? Did Jenny make the dance team? Joey's dad was supposed to get out of prison this month. Lord, help him be the father he should be.  I pray for my own children every single day, and I pray for my students right with them. 

It is almost like suffering a loss in a way. It reminds me of being a foster parent. The longest placement we had while fostering was eight months. When she was sent back to reunite with her parents, our hearts hurt. We knew all along that the goal was reunification with her family, but while she was with us, we loved her like our own. When she left, it was hard. As a teacher, we spend every day for ten months with these students. We learn to love them and worry about them. Then, one day in May, they leave.

In high school, I worry they will get lost in the shuffle. Will they find a trusted adult to be their champion? I hope so. Once they leave me, I can continue to pray for them and keep in touch through my student social media, but the influence I had on them decreases greatly. 

Pray for our students. I know many of them have amazing home lives with wonderfully supportive parents. Some of them do not. Teachers fill those voids. Pray for the teachers to be the leaders students need in their lives. Pray they get the rest they need over summer while working 2nd jobs, tutoring, attending PD, and planning a curriculum to begin again this fall with an entirely new class.